Get. Up.

The following 225-word scene is a sneak-peek at my upcoming book in Elithius.  Let me know what you think!

Emiya fall

(note: Ultra Malam=the Evil=the monster, etc)


PROTAGONIST: AETHYER GRIM

What is this thing!?

I grip the ground.  Have to get up.

The monster steps closer.

I push against the ground, causing pain to spike through me again.  My arms quiver; I can’t even lift my own weight.  You have to!  I scream at myself.  My eyes fall to my sister.

Addy…Addy…Addy!

The Evil is five feet from us.

Get up!!

An arrow slams into the left shoulder of the Ultra Malam.  The Evil jerks backwards in response, uttering a harsh, furious growl, and grabs the shaft of the arrow, ripping it out.  Where did that come from?

“Get away from them!  Over here!” someone shouts.  It’s a male’s voice.

Bernard.

“Over here!” calls someone else.

Frances.

The Ultra Malam raises its eyes from me and Addy, its gaze alighting on a new target.  I immediately know what the Evil is about to do.  “Watch out!” I scream, forcing the words out.  Or at least I tried to scream.  I am surprised at how weak and hoarse my voice is.

The Evil vanishes into the air…as I expected.  I wish I could turn around, to see what’s going on.  Or I wish I could rise and help, or at least get Addy somewhere away from here.  She’s already passed out…I hope she isn’t dead.

Because if she is…I’m not too far behind.

I black out.

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11 comments

  1. RubySky

    I enjoyed the pacing and the character’s thoughts were done very nicely! My only thoughts would be to describe “The Evil” more. You’ve done a great job communicating the sense of loss and disorientation, add a bit more of it in, even! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dominic Sceski

      Thank you! In regards to “the Evil”, I understand your confusion, since you haven’t read the first book. Things in my book are “weirdly simplistic”, and so the people in my story label things in a very simplistic way. Thus, the Evil (singular or plural, depending how many there are) are living personifications of Evil itself, as if Evil were a living thing. Technically, “the Evil” is part of an entire race that is simple labeled, “Evil”. I hope this helps 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Akaluv

    First, you selected a great image to go along with this piece, and I could feel the tension through your words. Wonderful excerpt! Are you going to share more excerpts in the future?

    Liked by 2 people

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