Don’t You Know What Love Is?

Brotherhood hug

I talked to about 200 different people at the New Jersey shore in June.  I was a part of a missionary group called Generation Life.

Our mission at the beach?  Walk up to random teenagers and talk to them about life, love, and sex so that they could better understand their sexuality and what it means to be men and women…what it means to love or lust, to give or take.  Basically, we were there to talk to people about the meaning of love and sex; we were combating the hook-up culture.  We were trying to build a culture of love and life.

Usually when we’d walk up to a group of teens/young adults, the first thing we’d ask them is, “What is your definition of love?”

90% of them couldn’t answer this simple question.

What is love?


Even when the teenagers/young adults were sitting right next to their significant others, neither of them could give us an answer.

Isn’t that sad?  You’re dating someone and you don’t even know what love is?

So, naturally, we would start talking with them about what love is.  The most basic way for us to describe love was like this:

“Love is wanting and doing what is best for the person you love.”

It sounds simple.  That’s because it is simple.

Some people would try to say that “Oh, love is something that just can’t be explained.  It’s too complicated.”

Wrong.  It was an answer that sounded educated, but really, it was just their way of copping out.

Now I get it; sometimes love catches us by surprise.  It reveals itself to us in different ways, ways we couldn’t imagine.  But that doesn’t mean that it is a complex CONCEPT.  Conceptually, love is simple.  If you love someone, you will do what is best for them, and vice versa.

People, please….PLEASE.  If you’ve ever asked yourself “What is love?” and not found a clear answer, search for the answer.  As humans, we believe that life ultimately revolves around love.  Everyone knows this at heart.  We all desire love.  We all want to love other people.  It’s what we are made for.


That being said, find the answer in the right place.  If you find an answer that is wishy-washy…all “love is complicated and it makes you feel like this when you’re doing this with this person and it doesn’t matter when or how you’re doing it…”


No.  Love gives.  Love sacrifices.  Love demands.  Love challenges you.  Love keeps you whole.  Love keeps you safe (not condoms or the Pill).  Love blesses you.  Laughs with you.  Cries with you.  Love makes you feel joyful and happy (porn and masturbation don’t, in case you were wondering).

If you have an issue with what I’m saying, let’s talk about it.

Love is simple: it means that you will do what’s best for the person you love.

Also, in case you were wondering, the 90% of the people we talked to using THIS definition of love agreed with it.  We are all capable of understanding the true definition of love.  The problem is, we let our own views get in the way; we want love to be something easy or suiting our own comforts.  We don’t want love to be demanding.  But it is.

As always, I want to know: What do you think?

Interested in the way I write or the things I write about?  Want to see love in action?  Hardcore, intense and realistic love?

Buy my book as a Kindle Edition for only 99 cents.  Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.  Click here.

Cover art by Elizabeth M

5 thoughts on “Don’t You Know What Love Is?”

  1. That’s an incredible thing you’re doing, walking up to random people at the beach and talking to them about love and sex to counter the hookup culture. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    Though it’s a little sad to hear these people not knowing what love is, even being with their significant others. 🙁

    I agree love is simple; we care about our loved ones and want and do the best for them. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you…yes, it was actually a life-changing experience. You have no idea how open people were and how much they shared about their personal lives…very touching and humbling…

      Liked by 1 person

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