Sometimes when I sit down to write, I just expect the words to appear. It’s like I’m staring at someone else’s book. The words that are already there aren’t my own. I didn’t write them…or if I did, it was a different version of myself. A version that I am currently not. And so I wait for that version to reemerge, because it’s the only version I trust to write my stories.
Sounds kind of creepy, doesn’t it? It’s as if there are two of me. There is the one that writes, and then the one that waits. The one that waits tends to be the one in control. Because I spend SO much time waiting for my writing-self to come out; then I realize that I’m just waiting. Then I accuse myself of laziness. Then comes the anxiety. And then I’m in a mood where I couldn’t possibly write. So I’m back at square one again…waiting.
Of course, when the writing-self does come out, everything is suddenly alive. Suddenly, I am powerful. High on imagination, pulsating like fire, I’m unstoppable. The words flow without cessation, pouring out perfectly, like everything was designed by God. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, but that’s what it feels like.
Do you struggle with a similar double personality as a writer? How do you triumph over the “waiting-self” that we all have? What do you do to boost your confidence and your drive? What gets you in the zone? Feel free to share in the comments. I’m all about helping other writers here 😉
Yep, definitely two different people. Normally I have great recall ability when I read something. It doesn’t work when I write. I don’t remember anything. I often have to go back and read things I have written and sometimes I don’t even remember writing the piece. When working on my draft I begin each writing session by reading what I wrote the day before.
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Although I wouldn’t wish this double personality on someone, it’s nice to know that someone understands where I’m coming from!
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Wow – I never quite thought about it in that way before but yes, sometimes that darn ‘other self’, the one who’s supposed to bring the words, is a loser. But without both sides of us, the ying and yang of the writing force would be less I suppose. Whatever it takes for you to ‘bring it’, keep doing it, Dominic! Your words inspire.
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Aw, well thank you! And yes, sometimes we need both sides. I think we all just need to learn to be a little more patient with ourselves. Cheers!
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