Sometimes when I sit down to write, I just expect the words to appear. It’s like I’m staring at someone else’s book. The words that are already there aren’t my own. I didn’t write them…or if I did, it was a different version of myself. A version that I am currently not. And so I wait for that version to reemerge, because it’s the only version I trust to write my stories.
Sounds kind of creepy, doesn’t it? It’s as if there are two of me. There is the one that writes, and then the one that waits. The one that waits tends to be the one in control. Because I spend SO much time waiting for my writing-self to come out; then I realize that I’m just waiting. Then I accuse myself of laziness. Then comes the anxiety. And then I’m in a mood where I couldn’t possibly write. So I’m back at square one again…waiting.
Of course, when the writing-self does come out, everything is suddenly alive. Suddenly, I am powerful. High on imagination, pulsating like fire, I’m unstoppable. The words flow without cessation, pouring out perfectly, like everything was designed by God. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, but that’s what it feels like.
Do you struggle with a similar double personality as a writer? How do you triumph over the “waiting-self” that we all have? What do you do to boost your confidence and your drive? What gets you in the zone? Feel free to share in the comments. I’m all about helping other writers here 😉