Tagged: love

1000 Words a Day

i-am-a-writer

That’s how many I try to do.  It isn’t always easy…but then, when you think about it, it’s not that hard either.

1000 words a day.  How many can you do?

We all get busy.  Life is honestly crazy, and sometimes we can’t even get a grip.  I’m currently an Engineering major at a prominent university.  How do I manage to write 1000 words when it isn’t related to my busy major at all?  I’ve developed a routine.  I have a system.  And it works.

The best way to become a writer is to write.  And to become a better writer you need to write more.

When do you write?  Do you have a system?  As always, I’d love to know What do you think?

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Angst

stressed-out-writer

Keep the fan going cause it’s quiet

Wear my hoodie even though it’s hot

I was told to write songs so I’ve tried it

Anxiety’s ruthless so I’ll give it a shot

I’m punching at the keys and scratching with a pen

So fast so furious, trying to defend

Myself, and the world from my emotions

Sick of playing the game and going through the motions

Don’t know if I can conquer my depression

It’s hard to conquer when it’s really my obsession

Now I know a thing or two about repression

Don’t try to force this on me though, believe me I’ve learned my lesson

Now I’m trying to make sense and come back strong

That’s why I’m sitting here and writing this song

Supposed to be studying, yeah but I wouldn’t call this slacking

If I don’t do this, some part of me’s gonna be lacking

Forget focus, forget good use of my time

I’m sitting here trying to think of how to rhyme

Yeah I’m rhyming away my problems just to get something out

This writing is internal screaming, external would be a shout

Run my hands through my hair so much I’m looking kinda crazy

Shaking my head, drumming my legs, my thoughts are kinda hazy

I’m trying to do what I should, don’t write me off as lazy

But I didn’t ask for these thoughts to invade my mind and haze me

You see that’s really what it is, it’s a form of abuse

The kind that comes from within, the kind I can’t refute

Because I live with this abuse, and though I hate it, it’s the norm

You wouldn’t recognize it even though it takes different forms

And though this pain is really haunting I think I get by okay

I keep my cool and fold my hands and pray my thoughts away

And when I’m down you know that my baby is there

Baby I can’t tell you how much it means to know that you care

And so I’m fighting this all with all the strength I got

Heaven’s through the narrow gate but hell is awfully hot

And you know me and heat don’t mix well, you know I’m bound to blush

But I also got this inner fire, keep it secret so hush hush

But I can’t deny that it comes out every once and a while

That’s why I’m sitting here writing away, rap-style

And you better feel honored to be hearing my thoughts

Don’t come to close though, you know it’s gonna get hot

 

Just tell me, who do you think that I am?

I’m just trying to please y’all, trying to be a man

Now I know that you think that there’s something wrong inside

You’re always treating me as if I’m trying to hide

Some sorta evil, yeah, something ill-intentioned

You act like I’m a monster, and I’m just good at retention

Foaming at the mouth, lust running through my brain

You think I’m all about sex, and I only cause the world pain

Every time I look at women it’s only for the sake of use

My nature isn’t to love, yeah, it’s only to abuse

Now I didn’t decide all these things, you decided them for me

This is YOUR concept of manhood, the real one’ll be gone shortly

So tell me, how you think anyone can be a man

When all you do is sit around and mess with Divinity’s plans?

 

I got enough to deal with, my own flaws beating me down

Now you come along with your vision and kick me to the ground

Thanks for killing chivalry, thanks for killing what could be

The more you stomp on manhood’s throat, the less I can be me

It’s already hard enough to live with purpose,

I fight through life hoping that it’s worth it

I’m fighting for God, fighting for me,

Fighting for Elia, (my wonderful girl, my baby)

But the battle isn’t always easy with anxiety clawing at my face

Life is full of drama, here we go, now begins the race

Pick up your feet and run, yeah, and try to survive

I thought college was supposed to be fun; it feels like I came here to die

Maybe that’s what I should do, cause after all I’m a MAN

And men are worthless creatures, they don’t fit in God’s plan

Manhood isn’t allowed, it’s replaced with “equality”

And so on top of my depression, I’m forced with receptivity

Of all this trash that gets shoved down my throat

You keep pushing this stuff down, Imma keel over and choke

Gotta watch my mouth as if the media were watching

Everything I say will be used against me; quit stalking!

But I can’t even speak up for myself, cause apparently I don’t deserve to

You take a knife of bigotry and run me right through

So now I’m bleeding out, and depression makes it flow even stronger

You want me to think life isn’t worth living?  Well, try harder

 

Just tell me, who do you think that I am?

I’m just trying to please y’all, trying to be a man

Now I know that you think that there’s something wrong inside

You’re always treating me as if I’m trying to hide

Some sorta evil, yeah, something ill-intentioned

You act like I’m a monster, and I’m just good at retention

Foaming at the mouth, lust running through my brain

You think I’m all about sex, and I only cause the world pain

Every time I look at women it’s only for the sake of use

My nature isn’t to love, yeah, it’s only to abuse

Now I didn’t decide all these things, you decided them for me

This is YOUR concept of manhood, the real one’ll be gone shortly

So tell me, how you think anyone can be a man

When all you do is sit around and mess with Divinity’s plans?

 

I’ve got drive now you see, and I’m dropping bars so heavy

You’ve got me all mad now, better get ready

You see baby and anger make a unique passion

I’m a bad-boy lover, and I like the new fashion

Heaven burns in her eyes, filling me with fire and light

I take her hand and lift her chin, I’m ready to fight

The more you threaten my manhood, the more you threaten her

And that’s not okay with me, it’s something I won’t stand for

Because the more you destroy manhood, the more you destroy the world

And I won’t stand for that; not-aw, cause of her

And depression can take a walk, yeah, you’re getting in the way

I’m gonna love her so much, I’m always gonna stay

By her side, all right?  Not gonna play nice

She is the fire in my blood, her and grace will suffice

These are all that I need to focus and use this angst for good

Not gonna listen to you, world, you don’t know what I should

Do with my life, or who I should be

You talk pretty loud, it’s really discouraging

But I’ll cover my ears, yeah, I’ll rip my ears off

Rip out the voices of my mind and the world, gonna make em stop

I feel so judged, but I’ll take it and be proud

You haters can talk, I kinda like it loud

Imma stand up strong, now that I’ve found my drive

And I’ll look in Elia’s eyes, and remember why I’m alive

 

God, thank you for Elia, and for Your grace too

I can’t even wonder what I’d do without You

Keep me going, all right?  Don’t let me or them get me

Keep me alive, if only for my baby

Cause I need You, and I need her

Don’t ever let me forget what I’m living for

Yeah

 

Iris

Image result for pic of an iris

Yeah

I hope that you, yeah, feel me somehow

Sometimes what I wanna say, yeah, I just can’t figure out

Closest to heaven, yeah, that I’ll ever be

The only thing I want, yeah, is to give you all of me

Don’t wanna go home, yeah, right now, right now,

My heart and my mind, yeah, keep going “wow, just wow”

Cause this moment, yeah, is all that I taste

Every second I spend with you, yeah, is never a waste

Cause all I’m breathing, yeah, is your life

Everything about you, yeah, is too nice, too nice

But I know sooner or later, yeah, it ends

But I can’t help see life, yeah, through a different lens

Gonna see you, yeah, tonight, yeah tonight

No, everything, yeah, is gonna be alright

 

Chorus

Cause you know the world don’t see me

Don’t think they can

But I know you do, I know you understand

When every part of me is broken,

You always know who I am

You’re the most beautiful part of my life

Yeah, praying this is all God’s plan

 

Cause you can’t fight Truth, yeah, you know he’s coming

I love seeing you, yeah, becoming what you’re becoming

And you’re full of that Truth, yeah, no lies, no lies

So pure, yeah, so real, you don’t need no disguise

You’re so amazing, yeah, you’re better than the movies

I thank God every day, yeah, for the way that you choose me

And I’m bleeding, yeah, just to know I’m alive

Life’s so good, yeah, I thought I already died

 

Chorus

Cause you know the world don’t see me

Don’t think they can

But I know you do, I know you understand

When every part of me is broken,

You always know who I am

You’re the most beautiful part of my life

Yeah, praying this is all God’s plan


^ For Elia…

Never Gonna Leave

To all my followers…

NF

So I say that I’m an author

Gonna get big name, you know I’mma big talker

That’s what I say and y’all believe me

When I give you all receive me

And when I’m in the zone

You know I never feel alone

Cuz I know y’all are listening

I can’t complain cuz y’all are listening

But

Try to understand me now

If you know what I’m talking bout

Then you better just come out

See

Writing isn’t the core of my life

If it was I’d never stop

But I do, and the truth is, sometimes I stop a lot

You know I act like I need this

Like it’s who I am

Like it’s God’s plan

Meant to be writer

Always writin’

Going harder

Than anybody else

Gonna find myself

When I sit down at that laptop

I’m not gonna stop

No I’m not gonna stop

But I did

What?

Yeah sometimes I stop a lot

So…

 

CHORUS

I’m making my life only about one

There is no place for myself

I’m not gonna be nobody else

Then who I am called to be

A man for God, yeah,

And a man for my baby

She’s got me entirely

So

No question about it, I’m never gonna leave

Yeah, never gonna leave

 

VERSE 2

See I’ve found something better

Something to release me from the iron

And the fetters

Of my mind, wasting my time

Dreaming big dreams

In a world that seems

Perfect

But it’s not, it’s not even worth it

Cuz I’ve got my own life

And it doesn’t seem right

To spend my time in a world that isn’t real all right?

Now give me this

Hold on, just listen to this

I know sometimes I miss it

But sometimes I really gotta diss it

Cuz reality is calling

And I can’t waste time falling

Into my thoughts

Into my own world

I got a real one that needs me

Believe me

I wanna escape from time to time

But the truth is, my time isn’t mine

It’s Yours God, and it’s yours baby

And I’m tempted to turn my back on you

For sure,

maybe,

But I can’t

lately

Cuz you’re on my mind

daily

You know that I’m crazy

Already

About you

baby

So listen world, listen fans

If you got a problem with this,

Leave the stands

Cuz I’m gonna live my life

In a way I think is right

 

CHORUS

I’m making my life only about one

There is no place for myself

I’m not gonna be nobody else

Then who I am called to be

A man for God, yeah,

And a man for my baby

She’s got me entirely

No question about it, I’m never gonna leave

Yeah, never gonna leave

 

VERSE 3

I’ve already got a world to live in

And I’ve already got someone who is my world

She’s worth all my time and I’m not quittin

That’s why I’m taking time to write these words

She’s the one I’m living for

Don’t think I won’t stop writing

Turn my back and shut the door

For her

Don’t believe me?

Fine but you won’t see me

Go ahead.  Disagree.

Tell me that I need

Writing, and Elithius

But I tell you I’m not regrettin’ this

Sometimes you find something better

Than your own imagination

And this isn’t speculation

I’m talking bout a real relation

With a girl that is my world

No she really is my world

And it’s not that I don’t enjoy blogging

But I leave the keyboard and I start jogging

Thinking bout life, thinking bout who I am

Is this writing thing God’s plan?

Or is just a scam

That I created, for myself

Am I trying to be somebody else

Than who I’m made to be

Cuz maybe

Who I am is being a man for my baby

And even if I’m a writer at heart

You know, I gotta start

With those that really need me

No all I care about is that she

Knows…that I love her

Knows I’m always gonna be there for her

No matter what happens, she always comes first

Cuz she is the first

And she’s the only

Person I’ve given my heart to

No other passion will control me

That’s why I’d give writing up the second she comes calling

And I know you probably think I’m being extreme

But try to understand what I mean

I can’t always have both, so I gotta choose one

It’s either myself and my own world,

Or the one for whom I’d take a gun

And blow my ego to bits

And fight for her instead of me

I pray to God that we go on

Don’t know if it’ll happen

But stay tuned and I guess we’ll see

I guess we’ll see…

 

CHORUS

I’m making my life only about one

There is no place for myself

I’m not gonna be nobody else

Then who I am called to be

A man for God, yeah,

And a man for my baby

She’s got me entirely

No question about it, I’m never gonna leave

Yeah, never gonna leave


(Note: the picture is of the rapper NF, not me)

 

 

Building Your Brand

In college, we engineering students are forced to partake of a class that essentially FORCES us to get a job, and a good one.  I know, I shouldn’t be complaining.  But hey, I’m just a freshmen.  Getting a stable job is something I’m supposed to worry about senior year…right?

Image result for business meme

Well, whatever the case, as always in the business world, there is a serious amount of stress placed on BUILDING YOUR BRAND.

And let’s face it.  As writers, if we are truly aspiring to be famous authors, we naturally become a part of the “business world”.  At times, it sucks.  It would be so SIMPLE if we could just say to the people of the world, “I’ll write my books, and you buy them and turn my stories into movies.”

That would be the life.

But no.  As writers, we are marketers.  We must promote ourselves and go through the tedious process of establishing a business-savvy identity for ourselves.

As we do this, we encounter the usual suspects.

Networking

Image result for linkedin logo

All right, so apparently LinkedIn is the “Facebook of the business world”.  I really just thought it was for old people that were trying to connect with each other, but apparently it’s a very sophisticated website.  I’m not sure if it works for writers, but I thought I might as well try, right?  At my school, we were all forced to make LinkedIn pages, so I have one!  Find me on LinkedIn if you’re interested, and I’ll follow you back.

For writers, I’d say that Goodreads is a great place to network your stories.  Note that I said your STORIES.  Maybe also your prowess as a book-reviewer/critic.  Nothing wrong with that.  I know that I need to be more involved in Goodreads, since so many people use it.

For building a PERSONAL network, I’m happy to announce that I think WordPress is great for that.  All in all, I don’t think fellow WordPress bloggers respond well to the “business” side of being a writer.  Simply put, WordPress bloggers are here to encounter other PEOPLE and fellow writers, not businessmen/women.  If you’re too heavy on promoting yourself, people will start to ignore you.  I’ve both learned this the hard way and watched as other bloggers shoot themselves in the foot by being all about “ME ME ME”.

Your Brand

just as planned

The first step to building a brand is identifying what it is.  You have to make sure people understand who you are and what you’re trying to promote.  No, don’t say, “Being a writer is your brand”.  Maybe that’s part of it, and that’s great.  But you have to be more specific.

The more general you are, sure, you’ll reach a wider-range of audiences.  But if you can’t hone your focus in on one particular audience, you’re going to turn some people off.  If you say you write about mystery and romance, but are constantly posting things about horror and fantasy, you’re going to confuse your audience.

Simply put, your brand is who you are and what you’re actually trying to promote.  All of your actions should flow from your brand-identity.  It’s like a mission statement.  This is who I am, this is what I want to do.  And then you have to stick with it.

When institutions do something uncharacteristic of who they are, or they deviate from their mission statements, things will go wrong.  People will not respond well.  It’s a simple, cheesy Disney idea, but it’s true: Be true to who you are.

Rock the World, Love What You Do

thank you gif

It might go without saying…but I’m going to say it anyway.  Love your brand.  Love who you are.  If you don’t, it’s going to be hard to draw OTHERS to yourself if you’re a conflicted, irrational mess.  You must be invested in yourself before you can convince others to do the same.

Take some time.  Think about what you want, how you’ll get it, and if it’s worth it to you.  Believe me, this exercise will be worth it.

And, as always, persevere.  Writing is hard.  Business is competitive.  You’ve gotta be strong to make it in this life.


As always, I want to know, what do you think?

I’d be a fool not to write about this…

Well it’s true.  I’d be a fool.  I feel as if it is my duty to write about this, to make sure you are all told what you should be told.

Book Two of Elithius is coming out this December.

Why should you care?

For starters, if you’ve read my first book, then you should know that Book One ended on a cliff hanger.  That cliff hanger will indeed be resolved in this next book, so you’ve got something exciting to look forward to.

Second of all, I’m personally excited about this book.  I can attest that the writing in Book Two is better; the challenges that the characters face are more intense; the emotional impact is deeper.  Overall, I believe it is a sequence to be reckoned with.

Image result for attack on titan

To those of you that might be interested, the majority of this book was written while I listened to the Attack on Titan Soundtrack.  For those of you that write frequently, you all know how much the emotion and “feel” of your story is influenced by what music you were listening to.  Thus, expect similar emotions and levels of intensity to that of Attack on Titan.

Also, in contrast to Book One which is very plot-driven, Book Two is extremely character-driven AND plot-driven.  The two tie in quite nicely, I think.  I’m the author though, so of course I think that!

Key things to look forward to, I think, are:

  1. new characters that add a new feel to the “main character team”
  2. relationships between certain characters (I won’t say who!)
  3. Intense internal struggles that are intriguing, dark, eerie…and yet surprisingly relatable!

I’d be a fool if, as a writer, I said nothing about my own works.  Thus…well…here you go 🙂

The Darkness Within Paperback

ALSO: Please note that Elithius, Book One, will only be available for $0.99 until Book Two is released.  Don’t miss out!

Click here to get your copy of “Elithius, Book One: The Red Captain” before the price goes up!

As always, what do you think?

Getting back into it…

i-am-a-writer

As you might have noticed, I took a short break from blogging.  Whether to your excitement or not, I’m back now 🙂

Life has been pretty crazy lately, to say the least.  I’ve had midterms; I’ve been making new friends; finding out how college-life works; time issues; money issues; relationship issues; life issues.

Lots of issues 🙂

Don’t worry, I’ve been doing some fun things too.  Whether I’m sneaking onto the top of buildings, convulsing in class just because I’m bored, or tossing the pigskin around, I do actually have a life.  Sort of.

One of my most recent accomplishments in the writing world is that I just finished critiquing Christopher Keene’s debut novel Gods of the Mountain: A Cycle of Blades.  Good read, definitely check his works out if you’re interested in fantasy and sophisticated systems of magic.

By the way, I love editing!  If you have something you want me to read/critique/edit, let me know!

And, as always, the editorial process for my own stories continues.  Christopher Keene kindly critiqued my book, Elithius, in return, as has Russell J. Fellows, so I will be making a lot of changes to the first book of my series.  Hopefully, these changes will be completed by the time I release book two of Elithius in December.

Lots of things going on in my world, to say the least!

What’s going on with you?  Thoughts?

To anyone who’s interested, here’s a link to my book on Amazon!  Check it out.

elithius-cover-official

Cover art by Elizabeth M