Tag Archives: relationships



Try to go through life without consequences.  It won’t happen.  You can’t have it.

So many things in life are trade-offs.  We seldom realize it, but every time we ask the questions, “Why don’t I have time?” “How did things end up like this?” “Why haven’t I accomplished enough?”, we already have the answer.  You trade being intellectual when you decide to browse social media instead of reading; you trade relationships every time you focus on your hobby; you trade time with God for countless, endless things, that you erroneously designate as more important.

However, the scary thing is, sometimes these trades make sense.  Sometimes they make so much sense that we don’t even know when to trade and when not to.  Sometimes we set aside time to workout; working out is a good thing.  But if we added up all the hours we spent working out, we realize that there days, weeks, months, years of time that could’ve been spent with a friend, a sibling, a parent, a lover.  And while we tend to always have working out, sometimes we don’t always have those relationships.

So working out isn’t a bad thing, but when does it start to feel like we’re just trading away our time for something that is less valuable?  Aren’t relationships more valuable?

Time.  Time is a keyword here.  You can’t go through life without consequences, and you can never get time back.  We’re constantly trying to save time, spend time, or kill time.  But it’s the one thing you never get back, and that’s what makes it so valuable.  How are you spending yours?  How many times could you stop wasting it, spending it idly, and instead give it to someone else?  Time can be a gift too.

Consequences.  They result from every choice we make.  An obvious statement, but sometimes we forget.  The consequence of how you choose to spend your time may not always be the one you want.  Well, what did you choose to get that consequence?  Consequences don’t always have to be bad things.  What consequences do you want?

Actions have consequences.  I don’t think we should live our lives only to create specific consequences.  I’m not a consequentialist, I’m a Kantian–we should be good for goodness’s sake.  But that doesn’t mean we should forget consequences.  We always have to be mindful of where we’re going.  Sometimes we have more control than we give ourselves credit for.

Trade-offs.  Time.  Consequences.

What are you doing with yours?

The Adult Life

stressed out anime character

We’re all just unhappy zombies.  Not even just zombies.  Unhappy ones.

We wake up.  We shower (hopefully).  We make our coffee.  We go to work.

Life becomes an endless stream of going from one place to the next, of trying to save time, while understanding that we never had any in the first place.  We spend so much time trying to get time, so that we can waste time in the way we want to.

Each passing day is a blur.  Drive to work.  Spend time serving people we don’t really even know.  Putting on faces that are appropriate, but not real.  We aren’t allowed show people who we really are.  Half the truth is, we don’t even know who we are ourselves.

We spend countless hours trying to be happy, forgetting that, in our search for happiness, we never actually can attain it.  At least not in the way we’ve been trying.  Searching never made anyone happy.  Only finding.  Or better yet, accepting.

Money.  Everybody needs it.  Everybody wants it.  It’s the one thing we try to get above so that we aren’t a slave to it, but it ends up enslaving us anyway.  We try to break free of our chains by fastening them to our wrists.  At least if it’s a choice to be slaves, we can say we were free enough to make such a decision.  We say, “I don’t wanna let money control my life, so I better spend all my time trying to get it.”  Hah.  No wonder life makes no sense.

Pain.  We hate it.  We’ll choose the most difficult route if it doesn’t involve pain.  We’ll sacrifice things for pleasure, even though sacrifice is supposed to involve pain.  We pretend like we’re tough, but the moment the pleasure stops, the moment we get uncomfortable, we’re no better than infants.  Life becomes unacceptable.  Life becomes unfair.  Sometimes, we think it isn’t even worth it.

I’m going through all this now as an adult.  First thing I’m realizing is that being an adult sucks.  Every child thinks about the freedom they’ll have as an adult.  You can’t be controlled by other adults.  You won’t have to ask for permission.  You’ll be carefree, your own boss.

Lies.  Kids are more free than we are.  The older you get, the stronger the chains become.  Welcome to adulthood.

“Everything can be set right, except death.  And death sets everything right.”

-St. Josemaria Escriva

Don’t Be That Person…


“Hi, my name’s Dominic, and I’m a self-centered asshole.”

….said no one ever.  (Especially if your name isn’t Dominic 😉 )

Look people, I love blogging about my personal endeavors as much as the next writer.  But if that’s all you have to offer to your audience, your blog will suddenly become increasingly one-sided.

I’ve seen this time and time again.  Maybe certain authors/bloggers aren’t TRYING to be self-centered, or assholes (pardon the language), but it sure can come across like that.  ALL they talk about is their personal endeavors.  They ask for reviews.  They ask you to “share” and “spread the word”.  Basically, the only person they are invested in is THEMSELVES.

Don’t be that person.

Many of us blog because we are trying to promote something.  I know I am.  I’m a self published author and I’d like people to read my books.  But that doesn’t mean I spend all my time focusing on just me.  And there are plenty of other bloggers out there who are behaving the same way.  We know that being self-centered is wrong, stupid, and unfulfilling.

So don’t be that person that focuses on being a consumer.  Don’t be that person that asks for favors but never pays attention to anyone else.  You’ll never get anywhere like that.

Be helpful.  ASK for suggestions.  Ask for criticism.  ACCEPT criticism.  Get involved in OTHER people’s projects.

Be writers.

As always, What do you think?

Yes, I am also promoting something.  If you’re interested, you can check out my fantasy novel Elithius here.

Cover art by Elizabeth M

The One


The world makes me feel like a monster

Full of hatred and anger

But you make me laugh like a child

I feel myself slipping into depression

But your smile saves me

I am lost and confused

I wallow in my own questions

But, thanks to God and you too

I’ve experienced the answer

You are the one that listens

You are the one that hears

You are the one that takes me on

And drowns out all my fears

With your love

And with your smile

I guess it’s just who you are

You’re the one

Dedicated to my girlfriend.

Don’t You Know What Love Is?

Brotherhood hug

I talked to about 200 different people at the New Jersey shore in June.  I was a part of a missionary group called Generation Life.

Our mission at the beach?  Walk up to random teenagers and talk to them about life, love, and sex so that they could better understand their sexuality and what it means to be men and women…what it means to love or lust, to give or take.  Basically, we were there to talk to people about the meaning of love and sex; we were combating the hook-up culture.  We were trying to build a culture of love and life.

Usually when we’d walk up to a group of teens/young adults, the first thing we’d ask them is, “What is your definition of love?”

90% of them couldn’t answer this simple question.

What is love?


Even when the teenagers/young adults were sitting right next to their significant others, neither of them could give us an answer.

Isn’t that sad?  You’re dating someone and you don’t even know what love is?

So, naturally, we would start talking with them about what love is.  The most basic way for us to describe love was like this:

“Love is wanting and doing what is best for the person you love.”

It sounds simple.  That’s because it is simple.

Some people would try to say that “Oh, love is something that just can’t be explained.  It’s too complicated.”

Wrong.  It was an answer that sounded educated, but really, it was just their way of copping out.

Now I get it; sometimes love catches us by surprise.  It reveals itself to us in different ways, ways we couldn’t imagine.  But that doesn’t mean that it is a complex CONCEPT.  Conceptually, love is simple.  If you love someone, you will do what is best for them, and vice versa.

People, please….PLEASE.  If you’ve ever asked yourself “What is love?” and not found a clear answer, search for the answer.  As humans, we believe that life ultimately revolves around love.  Everyone knows this at heart.  We all desire love.  We all want to love other people.  It’s what we are made for.


That being said, find the answer in the right place.  If you find an answer that is wishy-washy…all “love is complicated and it makes you feel like this when you’re doing this with this person and it doesn’t matter when or how you’re doing it…”


No.  Love gives.  Love sacrifices.  Love demands.  Love challenges you.  Love keeps you whole.  Love keeps you safe (not condoms or the Pill).  Love blesses you.  Laughs with you.  Cries with you.  Love makes you feel joyful and happy (porn and masturbation don’t, in case you were wondering).

If you have an issue with what I’m saying, let’s talk about it.

Love is simple: it means that you will do what’s best for the person you love.

Also, in case you were wondering, the 90% of the people we talked to using THIS definition of love agreed with it.  We are all capable of understanding the true definition of love.  The problem is, we let our own views get in the way; we want love to be something easy or suiting our own comforts.  We don’t want love to be demanding.  But it is.

As always, I want to know: What do you think?

Interested in the way I write or the things I write about?  Want to see love in action?  Hardcore, intense and realistic love?

Buy my book as a Kindle Edition for only 99 cents.  Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.  Click here.

Cover art by Elizabeth M

Mirthless Musings


It’s difficult moving forward in life when you don’t know exactly where you want to go.

There are phases that we go through; times when you’re convinced of your convictions, and when beliefs seem to feel like the truth.  But once these phases lose their luster and the part of you that was originally stone turns to sand…

…all that’s left is your hollow, formless body, driven by the wind.

There will always be decisions to make; we know that.  And we can control what decisions we make.  But we can never see the future or know whether or not our choices will make us happy.  We can choose a path, but we don’t know where it leads.  How can we choose when so much seems to hang in the balance?

In regards to phases, it seems fair to ask Which phases stayed the longest?  Which phases keep reoccurring?  Are these really not phases at all, but simply something that must be rekindled again and again?

I am in love with writing.  I am in love with my girlfriend.  I am in love with God and my faith.  I am good at many, many things.  I am a people person.  I am a strong person.  I am a weak person.  I am a doubtful person.  I am a realistic person.  I am a hopeful person.

I need money.  I need friends.  I need God.  I need love.  I need security.

I want happiness.  I want everything.  I want to need nothing.

Who am I?  Where am I going?  What does God want from me?

What choices can I make that will fulfill all these longings?

College.  Heh.  That’s what it will do to you.


What If My Story Isn’t Good Enough?


“What if my story isn’t good enough?”

“What if no one likes my idea?”

“Do I feel bored of my own idea?”

Have you ever had these doubts?  Of course you have.  If you’re a writer, then you’ve probably wrestled with these fears before, or you’re wrestling with them right now.  We constantly fear being rejected, being forgotten, or seeing our hard work go to waste.

The truth is, writing a story is a lot like being in a relationship.

“What if he doesn’t like me”

“What if I’m not good enough for her?”

“Do I feel bored with my relationship?”

It’s crazy how similar writing is to a relationship.  What’s important to remember, I think, is that, as in relationships, we have to PERSEVERE.  I mean, if a relationship isn’t good for us or the other person, usually we stop, right?  Hopefully we do.  And the same goes with writing.  If a “story relationship” REALLY isn’t working out, meaning you don’t feel captivated by your own story, or you are feeling like it isn’t worth it, then maybe it’s time to find a different story.

HOWEVER, it’s okay to just “not feel it” some days.  That happens in real life relationships…but that doesn’t mean the relationship is bad.  Bad days happen.  Good days also happen too.  And it’s important to remember that and, once again, PERSEVERE.

Emiya fall

You’re never going to get what you want and be where you want to be in ANY kind of relationship unless you persevere.

Rekindle your imagination.  Think of your favorite parts.  Rewrite and reread.  Fall in love again.  Make plans.  Take breaks.  And, most importantly, be patient.  Great writers don’t fall from the sky, so you probably won’t either!

Writing a story is like being in a relationship.  What’s your relationship like?